Sunday, December 13, 2009

It is hard to be a mom?

... I bore easily and quietly, without being painfully unbearable pain, and ill-treatment medical staff. Beside me was a wonderful doctor and an excellent midwife, who for a few hours were the most near and dear people. I infinitely believed them, and they did not disappoint me. At four o'clock in the morning world flashed bright colors - light appeared on my girl. Since then, my existence has been narrowed to the size of a small dvuhkilogrammovogo lumps.

Do not worry, I'm with you



Five days after giving birth, I spent in hospital. This is a special world, it's not like other medical institution, is permeated by pain and suffering. In maternity wards, all subordinated to the joyful anticipation of the new man. And for this you can be patient and never-ending torment of fights, and stabbing pain anxious out a new life. Under the supervision of doctors and midwives, I quickly mastered the basics of a young mother. Studied to feed, diaper, wipe the numerous folds of her newborn a miracle.



When the day came to an extract, surrounded by family and friends, I crossed the threshold of a comfortable maternity hospital and was in life, where, until recently, felt quite comfortable and confident. Now the outside world collapsed on me the whole weight of the many horrors and fears. Everywhere haunted danger, I hated the car, hated the people who are hatching, as it seemed to me, evil thoughts, afraid to watch television, full of blood and violence. I was afraid of, fear, confident settled in my heart. "When will it end?" - I asked a psychologist. "Never, - he said confidently - do not want to be afraid - do not get children. 'll Have to learn to live with it.



Board of Psychologist:



Learn how to get along with your fears is not easy. The nature of fear, even experienced analysts often can not decipher. Nevertheless, some recipes eating



- Do not think about the future, if you are sensitive and impressionable person, you will certainly primereschatsya all sorts of horrors, and that's no guarantee that you will happen, but the possibility of this fairly pat nerves. Live by this, think about what is, deal with current affairs, and their newly-made mother a lot;



- Careful not never hurt, but do not see the opposite in every bandit and monster. Fortunately, people are mostly quite normal, although it has some drawbacks. If you're afraid of everyone, then the child will convey this fear, which will fall on the child's psyche neuroses and complexes. Remember: your job is to teach children to distinguish right from wrong, and not shy away from all moving objects;



- Surround yourself with positive people and information. Given the plethora of blood media, it is not so easy to do, but in the end you do not have to watch TV and read all the press. Limit or completely eliminate contact with people inclined to report bad news. There is a level interlocutors who talk only to build around all the horrors and passions. Let then no wonder that they do not want to communicate.



Day Su



First day at home. I made a morning toilet, feed, walk, put him to sleep. Wash, fed, stroked, swim, lulled ... Day came to an end, falling over with fatigue, I fell asleep, barely touching the pillow, and two hours later, a baby crying tore me from the sweet embrace of Morpheus. It seemed that everything is about to end and life will go down again in the usual (prenatal) track. In this delusion, I stayed for four days, until, hanging diapers, until I suddenly not clearly realized that my life now firmly and permanently painted on the regime of walking - feeding.



I can not say that to get used to this fact, it was easy. Moreover, very disappointing loss of mobility (not go where and when you want) and it is impossible to schedule (the child must destroy all plans). A few days faithfully fulfilling maternal duties, I was in a despondent over the loss of former freedom.



But soon got used to the new role and even experienced the inexplicable pleasure of constant care and communication with your child. I did not want to go anywhere and see anyone. We have been together with my girl, existed as a single unit, in a single stroke of the heart - is this not happiness? And although my restless crumb did not give a moment's rest, I occasionally still allowed myself to some simple pleasures. Fits and starts reading favorite books, on walks he studied magazine, "My child", and in the evening with joy watching the domestic series. And while one day before the pain was similar to the other, I was happy all the two-year maternity leave, because they held it together with his baby.



Board of Psychologist:



Maternity radically changing the lives of women as physically and psychologically. Like everything in life, get used to it. Maternal instinct is so powerful that in principle it is easy to do. But sometimes even the approximate mothers psychological breakdowns occur, when life begins to seem dull and monotonous. Do not blame yourself for it, you just need a little relaxation, a change of scenery. Suffice going to a movie or two-hour Slumber Party in a cafe and you're ready to honorably perform maternal duties for many months.



- To involve parental grandparents or the father. Turn over your tithe of the care at least once a week. And yourself go to her friend, in shops or beauty salon, where getting the most positive emotions.



- Nothing terrible will happen if one time you miss a walk or not iron nappies, but instead of sleeping baby read a book, watch a movie, chatting on the phone;



- When the same becomes completely unbearable, you can suggest them to use one method. Imagine that tomorrow you're going on a long trip and this is the last day that you spend with your child. You'll see, as a "sparkle" your feelings and will power to communicate and joy.



Perpetual servitude



Of all maternal duties hardest for me was walking. As a conscientious mom, I was walking in any weather, at least four hours a day. And if the first six months, while the fresh air, my miracle rhythmically slept in the stroller, it was easy, then a seven-month stay on the street turned into a heavy duty. First steps daughters spoke of severe pain in my lower back, and her desire for independence required constant attention. Minutes dragged on for a long time, and it seemed that the required hours not ever run out.



Salvation from boring duties came unexpectedly in the face of two such self-sacrificing mothers. We could not meet, as they were the only ones in the snow and rain pulled their children for a walk. Having each other, we have become both easier and more fun. We invented new routes and find topics for conversation, shared experiences and enjoyed communicating to their children. Looking back on the stage, I definitely understand that without the support of new friends I would not have withstood this onerous duty - to walk with your child.



Board of Psychologist:



What with the baby should be walking every day, despite the weather conditions, quite correctly. Walking not only strengthens the immune system of the child, but also contribute to its development. As the scope of practice, the lag in development is often a consequence of the lack of staying on the street. If you seriously give this povinnos



- Share it with the child's father or relatives;

- Immediately decide for yourself that no household duties are not worth the health of your baby, and without excuses, go for a walk;

- Note, regular walks are useful not only your child, but you;

- Make this process interesting for the baby and for themselves;

- And, of course, find like-minded people. This is not difficult because the mother can easily go to the contact with each other.



Minutes panic



Even more heavily than walking, the nervous system has placed concern for the health of my girls. I first knew the joy of motherhood, and as it turned out, knew nothing about children. Worry about whether it is developing, driven to a frenzy. Strangely shook his head, is pressing legs, slowly gaining weight, throws back his head, and, "My God, there snot. The elderly pediatrician, having spent all her strength to rise to the desired floor, hurriedly gave advice, and leaving me in more confusion, quickly removed.



I he studied literature, "sat" on the Internet, listening to conflicting advice of relatives and friends. Conclusion ripe unequivocal: we need a doctor. After a large-scale monitoring, defined with the nomination. "You are the best pediatrician city - I began with compliments - please help me. The doctor responded. After examining the child, slowly and thoroughly answered all my questions politely rejected the envelope. Still, there are good doctors in this country! Above all, they nay



Board of Psychologist:



First motherhood is accompanied by increased nervousness, which is understandable (you still know so little about children) and eventually passes (typing test). Everything that concerns the health of the child requires special attention. Do not rely on the issue in the literature (it sometimes gives diametrically conflicting advice) for the same reasons should not follow the advice of relatives and friends (something that has helped their child, you can not quite come up or be detrimental). Rely on expert evidence:



- Looking for a doctor. The best way to find a good healer - to interview patients who have spoken to. Do not rely on guess-work. Inquiring, "sniff out" - it's worth it;



- If you have doubts about the diagnosis or prescribed treatment, do not hesitate to seek the advice of another specialist. Doctors themselves, to avoid errors, advised to consult with at least three specialists. Expensive, of course, and takes a lot of time, but still it comes to the health of your child.



- Do not hesitate to ask your doctor in detail about the causes of disease, administration, side effects, the possible consequences. If Aesculapius does not bother to answer your questions, change it immediately.



After two years in incessant cares and worries, I found it very difficult to switch "back". Give the child in kindergarten and go to work was no less difficult than getting used to the regime around the clock care for him. But during maternity leave, I just learned that there is no more hard work than motherhood, and there is no happier duties than be a mom
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